A Reindeer’s Tail

So, I guess you think you know all about the legendary Christmas reindeers?  You’ve all ‘herd’ their names – Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen – oh and there’s me too.…I’m Rudolph.

You might be wondering how it was that the big man come to have us reindeer?  Well, I believe that he started off with goats – but the sleigh was too big and heavy for them and so he called on us deer to help him instead. 

Why reindeer?  Just ask anyone around these parts – everyone will tell you reindeer are the stuff of legends – kind, wise, strong, tough, determined – what’s not to like?  So, maybe modesty isn’t our strong point … but we are the only deer who can work in the icy cold of the north pole and that’s gotta be a plus right?

Another thing you might not realise is that we’re all female!  Naturally it’s females that are the ones doing all the hard work at Christmas!  Yes, every last one of us reindeer are female – and if you don’t believe me, then just look at our antlers.. only females have them in December – so the big man’s sleigh is girl powered!

I’ve been told that I’m the most famous one of the lot – but the truth is I’m the newest recruit to the team.  I was always the runt of the herd and no one took much notice of me…I was considered too small to be able to pull the big man’s sleigh and I could only watch in envy, as my fellow deer all got harnessed up and ready to ride every Christmas Eve, leaving me behind.

As I grew older, my nose started to get really red – now I think I should point out that it’s not just me who has a rosy glow – because all reindeer have a rich blood supply to their noses – it’s just that mine grew bigger and brighter than the others. 

All the other deer would laugh at my nose and make fun of me; when I tried to join them in a game of hide and seek, they told me my nose was too much of a giveaway and wouldn’t let me play with them.  Yes, the dream of becoming one of the big man’s team seemed far away – but then, one night, everything changed!

It’s was bad weather that finally got me my break – that Christmas Eve the fog grew so thick and so dense that the big man was getting anxious about being able to take the sleigh out at all.  All the elves were stressing out about the presents hitting their delivery time.  The big man was pacing around in the snow, head in hands, no idea what to do – he looked so worried, that I went and nuzzled him in sympathy.  He looked up at me and, all of a sudden, cried out, “Rudolph, you will be the perfect guide for the sleigh tonight – your red nose will light the way!”

I was so shocked at suddenly being asked to take part, that I couldn’t quite believe it!  Of course, it did cause some jealousy amongst the others at first… but after a few words from the big man, everyone settled down and it all worked out great in the end.  From then on, I always take part as the lead navigator.

Have you ever managed to spot us on Christmas Eve?  Or perhaps you’ve heard our magic click?  I hate to tell you, but there isn’t anything much magic about it – we really do click when we walk – it’s a natural feature of our hoof tendons that helps us to find each other in the snowy blizzards.

I bet you also want to ask me about the flying thing.  Sorry, we’re sworn to secrecy, but I could give you a couple of hints if you like.. maybe a friendly bird taught us her secrets? Or perhaps we munch on some ‘special’ fungi found in these parts that gives us a little lift, if you know what I mean (wink, wink!)  Or could it be that we’re just born that way…? I’ll leave you to make up your own mind…

Obviously, we spend a lot of the year in training and practice lots and lots to make sure we are all in tip top condition for the big night – and when it’s all over, we get to put our hooves up and enjoy some r n r for a week or so afterwards.. so you’re not the only ones eating, drinking and making merry for the 12 days of Christmas!

What’s the big man like to work for?  He’s an amazing owner, you couldn’t wish for better – but in return he does expect total dedication and the utmost secrecy – so that’s all I can tell you, sorry, in fact I hope I haven’t already said too much…

I can see that some of you are looking doubtful – hey, don’t be so sceptical that we exist!  After all, you wouldn’t want the big man to strike you off his list would you?!  Only absolute believers are on there!  See you on the 24^th…. But only if you’ve been good of course …